Here we go...
For almost 6 years I wrote a blog titled, "Life with Nona." In the summer of 2018, I was blown away by a 'bug' that stole my ability to share my blog posts on my social media accounts. I was so confused. I literally sat in my self pity & refused to put my fingers on a keyboard...I couldn't see a point in writing if I couldn't 'share' what I was writing. I mean isn't that the purpose in writing? To let others in on our thoughts. What good is writing I was thinking, if it's only for me?
Even just typing these words I realize how self-centered they sound. I didn't have a bunch of followers, I really had mostly my friends & some people that had found, me probably by accident. I honestly didn't even have many people who commented on my posts, the only way I knew it was being read, was by the numbers in my authors dashboard. They show me how many have read each post & give me the totals of each country. I just loved seeing the totals climb & to look at the map of where my blog was traveling & reaching those He wanted to speak to. That last part is why I began to sit down & let God pour through me. The release & joy I found in sitting with God & sharing what He is doing in me, my heart & my life is indescribable.
Some of the posts were so transparent that I had no doubt that I would lose "friends." But God. He reminded me often that this wasn't about making friends & that the ones falling away were not for me. The thought that people would walk away from me for what God was doing in me & through me, well that was hard to deal with for me. I have been such a 'people pleaser' in my life. Although since God has taught me that just 'pleasing people' to keep them happy, at any cost...well in the end it brings destruction. Not just to me, but for them as well. So many of my relationships ended poorly because I would do my best to 'please everyone.' Then after my 'pleasing' would blow up in my face, I would sit up high on my own ego & blame them in my self righteousness. But God...I am so grateful He doesn't give up on me. Finally, He brought the wall of ego & self righteousness crumbling down & with it went the people pleasing piece of me.
Have you ever learned something the hard way? The hard way seems like the only way I do learn. I had always given this as the reason why I kept clinging to the way I wasn't ready to let go of. It seems like this was something that I just said to excuse my foolishness, kinda like saying, "I'm only human, I make mistakes." I know now that most of those times were because I wasn't seeking God & His plans. I wasn't asking Him, "LORD, show me what You want to clean up." I was actually just going on what I FELT, instead of what God's plans were.
About 8-9 years ago I was in a friends house & on her wall was a beautiful plaque of Jeremiah 29:11...
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Even just typing these words I realize how self-centered they sound. I didn't have a bunch of followers, I really had mostly my friends & some people that had found, me probably by accident. I honestly didn't even have many people who commented on my posts, the only way I knew it was being read, was by the numbers in my authors dashboard. They show me how many have read each post & give me the totals of each country. I just loved seeing the totals climb & to look at the map of where my blog was traveling & reaching those He wanted to speak to. That last part is why I began to sit down & let God pour through me. The release & joy I found in sitting with God & sharing what He is doing in me, my heart & my life is indescribable.
Some of the posts were so transparent that I had no doubt that I would lose "friends." But God. He reminded me often that this wasn't about making friends & that the ones falling away were not for me. The thought that people would walk away from me for what God was doing in me & through me, well that was hard to deal with for me. I have been such a 'people pleaser' in my life. Although since God has taught me that just 'pleasing people' to keep them happy, at any cost...well in the end it brings destruction. Not just to me, but for them as well. So many of my relationships ended poorly because I would do my best to 'please everyone.' Then after my 'pleasing' would blow up in my face, I would sit up high on my own ego & blame them in my self righteousness. But God...I am so grateful He doesn't give up on me. Finally, He brought the wall of ego & self righteousness crumbling down & with it went the people pleasing piece of me.
Have you ever learned something the hard way? The hard way seems like the only way I do learn. I had always given this as the reason why I kept clinging to the way I wasn't ready to let go of. It seems like this was something that I just said to excuse my foolishness, kinda like saying, "I'm only human, I make mistakes." I know now that most of those times were because I wasn't seeking God & His plans. I wasn't asking Him, "LORD, show me what You want to clean up." I was actually just going on what I FELT, instead of what God's plans were.
About 8-9 years ago I was in a friends house & on her wall was a beautiful plaque of Jeremiah 29:11...
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
In these words, God took my breath for the moment. "This" He whispered, "This is your life verse. This is My heart for you." I looked at my friend & told her, "Girl this is my life verse. God just told me!!!" I was so excited, I suddenly knew God had plans for me & His plans were to give me hope & a future, not to hurt me. He knew me & still loved me! To this day when I hear, see, or God shows up with these words anywhere, my breath still catches & I know He's speaking life over me.
In the years following & in many of the struggles to grow my faith, He added 12, 13. Then last year when He moved us from the desert of Arizona, to the beautiful flat lands of Texas, He handed me verse 14. Each time He adds another piece of the puzzle for me to understand, He waits until He knows I am ready to comprehend why He's adding them. He always brings them in His perfect time. Just at the right moment for what He's teaching me right then. He's never wrong, of course, I have no idea why I am surprised by this truth, but each time I get so excited & most times it will bring me tears...not sad tears, beautiful tears of joy that my Poppa God knows me so well, that He waits patiently for me before He brings the next puzzle piece. He waits so that I will understand the why's, the what's & the how's. And if I don't completely understand, I will accept that His plans are for me, not to harm me, but to bring me hope. When I seek Him He will answer & I have no fear. Even if I get lost, He will show me the way back to His plans.
Now, bringing this all forward to now sitting under a "new name" with this new blog. For more than the last 6 years I have comfortably dwelt in the title of "Nona" it's been my favorite title. I dearly love being a grandmother...with 4 grandprinces & 2 grandprincesses, it's easy to rest in the love I have for my sweet ones. In fact, I believe I put most of my effort & joy into loving my grands. Maybe even put them in God's spot many times. Definitely put them above everyone else. Since I've been asking God to cleanse me of what keeps me away from Him, to make me more like Jesus, He has taken a few people & things out of His place & most of the time my life. But for some reason I never thought loving my grands more than life, could possibly be an idol? I mean after all "LOVE" is the number 1 thing God asks me to do right? Then in 2015, a blow was dealt that would take me years & a move 2 states away, to understand. When my grandprincess that I had spent about 5 years doting on & putting before life itself, was STRIPPED away from me. I spent the years begging & pleading her daddy to let us see each other. I tried to explain that this was detrimental to her. I know that is probably true, but in reality I was learning that I had put this title, "Nona" above everything else in my life, including God. And this was the beginning of really finding my identity in Christ. Though I promise I have not laid down my desire to hold my grandprincess & tell her how much I have missed her & how much I dearly love her. I have surrendered her & this pain to God. Where once there was anger & bitterness towards both her mom & her dad with his girlfriend, there is now forgiveness & peace. I didn't just suddenly drop into this, believe me it's all God.
When He was ready after He was patient for all that time. He knew I was ready & just yesterday at the 10:45 am service at my Gateway church, Pastor Robert Morris carried my newest life verse to me...Jeremiah 29:10...
When He was ready after He was patient for all that time. He knew I was ready & just yesterday at the 10:45 am service at my Gateway church, Pastor Robert Morris carried my newest life verse to me...Jeremiah 29:10...
"This is what the LORD says: “When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my good promise to bring you back to this place."
Instantly I knew it...I knew that God was whispering, "Now get back to work & in my time I have set a plan to bring fruit forward that you believe is rotted away for good. I have gone before you & you will be free to share My words again. You will not be 'Nona' You are not just Nona, I am your Namer, your name is Robin Lynn. You don't have to leave 'Nona' behind, you have to walk forward in the identity I have given you, move forward my beautiful Robin Lynn." I cried tears of pure joy. Finally, I had freedom from the 'who' I thought I had to live up to being. I no longer had to hold onto the 'title' I could just be who God created me to be, just me... HIS Robin Lynn.
As I left church, I shared with my man, "God gave me another piece to my puzzle!! He gave me another verse to add to my life verses!!" He looked puzzled, but played along, "oh yeah, what's that?" I excitedly exclaimed, "He gave me Jeremiah 29:10!! He told me who I am, who He created me to be, Robin Lynn, not just Nona!! And He told me that it's time to sit down & get to work. To get busy on the new blog, tomorrow." He looked at me smiled & said, "cool."
This past Friday & Saturday was the Pink Impact event perfectly named, "UnCommon." Though I will sit down & share more about the amazing event in future posts, let me just share this one piece of wisdom that one of the boldest & wisest women I have had the gift of hearing speak gave on Friday. Nika Maples talked about God telling her she was taking His Name in vain, she said she knew that this couldn't be, she didn't even use "OMG" she wouldn't take His name in vain. Then God shared a wisdom none of us would probably consider, "you say 'I am ____' every time you say 'I am' you are calling me every word you put after 'I am." That one piece of wisdom brought me to my face in a humbleness I had never known!! At that moment EVERYTHING that I have said after 'I am' came rushing forward...I knew in that moment, God still has a lot to do in my heart. He will heal all I surrender.
I know that I have shared a couple of my life verses already, however when I searched for them, I was blessed to see the Message Translation of ALL the life verses that God has given me to this date, I really wanted to share them all together & this translation just says it so perfectly...
This is God’s Word on the subject: “As soon as Babylon’s seventy years are up and not a day before, I’ll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.
“When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I’ll listen.
“When you come looking for me, you’ll find me.
“Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed.” God’s Decree.
“I’ll turn things around for you. I’ll bring you back from all the countries into which I drove you”—God’s Decree—“bring you home to the place from which I sent you off into exile. You can count on it.
Jeremiah 29:10-14 MSG
So, what are you putting in front of God? Who are you holding as number 1 in your life? What are you calling, saying about God after your 'I am'?
Written by,
HIS
Robin
Lynn
So, what are you putting in front of God? Who are you holding as number 1 in your life? What are you calling, saying about God after your 'I am'?
Written by,
HIS
Robin
Lynn
